So Kayla tells me you're the one. The other day I told her if that's true she should keep a diary and write down all the little memories. I wish somebody had told me to write more when I was younger, I'd love to look back at all of those moments from the viewpoint of a much younger Stacey. Anyway, the thought occurred to me today that maybe I should write you letters. I'll never publish these and I'll probably never tell you about them, but here they are. I guess it'll just have to remain to be seen what use they have.
The thing is, if you are "the one" and you truly love my daughter, I'll love you too. I don't know why, but I never considered that some day I would have more children to love and look after. The very thought makes me instantly anxious. I once watched a momma duck try to get her ducklings across a busy road and I immediately felt her pain and fear. When you have one duckling its scary but not so difficult. The more ducklings the scarier. If you are "the one" I'm glad I acquired you when you were (mostly) able to cross the street without my help.
Seeing my daughter in love is also scary. The more you gain, the more you stand to lose. I want to trust that you will see her for exactly who she is and will always love her, but that's just something I'll have to wait and see. It seems so strange to even be thinking about these things only one month in, but hearing her say that she wants you to be her best friend forever is new. She's had strong feelings before, but she's never talked about a boy the way she talks about you. She tells me you think she's the one you'll marry and who am I to judge if you're right or wrong? I don't know anybody with a loving marriage who didn't meet when they were very young. So who knows? I guess we wait and see.
My anxiety has had me wound up lately. I know if you break her heart she will survive, I just don't know who will be left where she once stood. She wants the fairy tale. She is optimistic and a hopeful (not hopeless) romantic, but I don't know how much her young heart can take. My greatest fear for her is losing the love of her life. I can't decide what would be worse, losing him to death or watching him walk away. So for her sake I hope you are the one who never walks away. All of this feels so heavy and I don’t mean for it to be. Kayla’s just been through so much and it’s an awful feeling knowing I can’t protect her from heartbreak.
When I met you I could instantly feel your anxiety. Your cheeks turned pink and you couldn't figure out what to do with yourself. Kayla was in her own anxiety spiral and offered you no support while she laughed awkwardly and stuffed her face with fried okra. I could feel you wanting to be closer to her but also afraid to touch her in front of me. The voice in my head was screaming at me to leave so you two could come back down to Earth. I hated feeling like I intimidated you but I was completely won over every time you called me "ma'am" and shyly made eye contact. I regret telling you that you could "stop ma'aming me". I felt like I embarrassed you and I should have just left you alone. It was my own awkward attempt to diffuse the anxiety in the room. Stella told me how much she likes you and her opinion carried weight with me.
The second time we met you were much more at ease and it was nice to see you be more relaxed. I asked Kayla before we met to stay by your side this time and be that support system through these awkward moments. Every siren in my head was going off watching her with you. I've seen her with other boyfriends and I've never seen her like this. It scares the hell out of me. I see how far my daughter can fall and she's only getting higher. She tells me you asked if I said anything about that night and I'm absolutely touched that you care what I think. This means you really like her, I guess. I know you're just kids. I know you could wake up tomorrow and change your mind about everything and (depending on how you handled that) I wouldn't hate you for that. Its just that my silent prayer is that you are the one my daughter has been waiting for. Please don't break her. You are incredibly lucky to be so loved by her.
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